The Lifestyle of Confession and Surrender

I recall advice that seemed wise when I first heard it. “Laugh,” my father told me, “and the world laughs with you. Cry, and you cry alone.”

Here’s another well-meant but misguided belief: “Never let ‘em see you cry.” Most men, especially, are raised that way.

These were the insipid sayings of a generation that drank the Kool-Aid, about themselves. They saw their ascendancy as messianic.

Their culture was based on appearances, positions, titles...

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Relationships in 2020

The day everything changed for me was a completely normal one. Most are. Good or otherwise, extraordinary days usually begin on ordinary footings.

After 17 months of drought, trial, error, failure, despair and hope - I had finally closed my first high-ticket client. My business was … in business.

Of all the exciting realities that come with getting embraced by target clients, I could only point to one moment during the day that spelled out the source of everything else.

It had nothing...

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Compressing Files

I recently spoke with the leader of a thriving community outreach ministry.

There’s never just “one reason” for success or failure in business, ministry or career.

He mentioned, however, a strategy that was working wonders.

Volunteers and board members burn out quickly in nonprofit, charitable work.

Usually, the organization saddles them with too many duties.

Not this man. He told me, “I refuse to ask people to serve outside their spiritual gifts.

"If they’re...

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You Are NOT Your Customer

What do NASA, the NFL and the news all have in common, aside from beginning with the same letter?

None of them cater to YOU as the primary customer.

Oh, they have customers all right ... just not you. The average citizen.

To be clear: you are the consumer ... just not the customer.

Which begs the question ... do you know who YOUR customer is?

Take it from a guy who's wasted a LOT of time and money on chasing a customer he couldn't identify.

Life and business are much easier when you're...

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Data vs Intuition

In 2001-02, Amazon watched its stock price tumble from $113 to just six dollars per share in the Dotcom Crash.

Steve Anderson, the author of The Bezos Letters, wrote that the person who seemed the least alarmed at the time was Jeff Bezos.

Amazon is famous for its obsession with customer data, analytics, measuring and numbers.

The company has entire departments dedicated to making sense of its enormous collection of data.

It may surprise you to discover that to Bezos, data is extremely...

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Ignore the Pointy Old Finger


By now we should all feel suicidal. 

The pride and vanity before the fall with selfie photos should have wiped younger generations off the map.

I understand people look preoccupied with themselves in the age of selfies.

There certainly are individual cases where the selfie-obsessed person really is carried away with themselves.

However, when it becomes the subject of ongoing debate or mockery in our culture, we’re usually being bamboozled by culture itself, more than vanity.


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Your Lower Self's Enneagram / Myers-Briggs

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Your lower self, or what the Bible calls "the flesh," has an Enneagram number. A Myers-Briggs rating. A GEMS profile.

Did you know that?

No, of course. You only think about yourself.

Okay, I'm joking. You don't just think about yourself. In this case, though, it might do you some good.


One personality test gave me the profile of "Individualist." It's quite fitting; I've fulfilled it most of my life.

When I was in elementary school, teachers routinely told my parents, "He...

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Why Transformation Is Essential


In an age where everyone is famous for 15 seconds at best, we should expect an equally speedy assault from personal entropy.

I awoke at 2:40 this morning and my brain immediately went to work categorizing and mapping out my day.

Because I go to bed around 8:30 or 9:00 each night, I was sufficiently rested. This wasn't a huge interference.

It wasn't long, though, before I began thinking perverse sexual thoughts, brought on by old memories I wish I could erase.

Transformative Language


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The Three Most Powerful Words in Persuasion

“What should I do?” asked one of my younger friends recently.

The topic for which they wanted answers isn’t important. What matters is how I responded.

I could hear the internal alarms going off inside as I stammered through the best answer I could improvise.

These alarms are God’s way of telling us, “You’re diagnosing a situation where you don’t have enough info. It’s going to backfire.”

But none of that mattered. It’s difficult for...

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Guest Blog: The Dad Who Leads By Asking Questions

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Check out The Discerning Dad Devotional Blog and Community of Discerning Leaders for this guest blog!

Recently my wife, an analytical software engineer, complained to me for the umpteenth time. Our eleven-year old son was again fighting her tooth and nail to avoid doing simple math homework.

Math is his best school subject. He loves it. But it quickly becomes the hardest one in the world if his mother sits him down to do it, when he’d rather play video games.

As my wife grumbled, I...

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